


Lethallin

by kscho



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: BIG OOF, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-02
Updated: 2018-12-02
Packaged: 2019-09-05 09:18:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16807777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kscho/pseuds/kscho
Summary: Callie Mahariel thought her childhood friend, Tamlen, was long gone, taken by the tainted eluvian. After clearing the camp of shrieks the night of the ambush, she hears a voice she recognizes all too well.





	Lethallin

Callie pushed her hair out of her face, straightening up as she looked around. No shriek was left standing; all had been reduced to puddles of corrupted blood and rancid flesh. Her heart was thumping painfully in her chest and her mind was still swimming from the nightmares. Glancing over at Alistair, she noted he looked similarly shaken. 

“By the Dread Wolf,” she sighed. “Apparently it  _ is _ too much to ask for one good night’s sleep.” Callie wiped a swipe of darkspawn blood from her neck.

“You don’t sleep well with your dear Alistair?” Zevran teased, expressing the double meaning of his words. Callie reached over and smacked his bare arm with her free hand, the strike louder than she had anticipated, almost like a harsh slap. The elf snickered with pride, flashing her a suave smile. She couldn’t help but smirk back at him, stifling a giggle. After all, it  _ had _ been a little funny. 

A sudden spot of movement just outside their group of tents drew her attention away from the assassin. Callie walked carefully in its direction, nocking an arrow in her bow, wary of what might be smart enough to hide from them. She could definitely sense something on the edge of her thoughts, but it didn’t feel like a normal darkspawn. The very idea of something being able to hide for as long as it was sent a shiver down her spine and made her grip her bow harder.

_ “You...lethallan…” _

Callie’s blood turned to ice in her veins. The taint within it sang. She could feel her face drain and pale as white as snow as her composure shattered like glass. She knew that voice. A shadowed figure stepped out from behind Wynne’s tent, twitching and holding its arms in close, shuffling towards her. His skin was blistered and corrupted, discolored like bruises, covering every visible inch of his body. His armor was covered in dirt and grime and blood of all kinds. His eyes, once a vibrant and lively hazel, were now a swirly grey, devoid of the person he had once been.

“Tamlen,” she breathed, almost dropping her bow and taking a step forward to see him better. “No... _ no, no, it can’t be! _ ” Tamlen skittered farther from the tents, back towards the woods. Callie followed, but kept her distance. Whether she stayed away due to fear he would run or fear he would attack, she was unsure. 

“Don’t! Don’t come near me!” he croaked, his voice cracking every which way from underuse. “Stay away!”

“Tamlen!” she said again, her own voice breaking as tears welled in her eyes. “Mercy of the gods…”

“Don’t...look at me! I am...sick…”

“ _ Da’len _ ...don’t go…” Callie took a deep breath. “I thought you were dead, Tamlen! The clan held a funeral! Duncan and I searched  _ everywhere _ for you! You...you were gone…”

“You were...hurt...because of me. I...pulled you from the ruins. Ran...ran so far… They found me… They knew I... _ I heard it too! _ ”

“Heard what?”

“The song...in my head. It...calls to me. He sings to me! I can’t stop it!” His broken voice was overflowing with pain and hopelessness.

_ Urthemiel _ . Tears cascaded down her cheeks as she dropped her bow and wrapped her arms around her friend. He smelled of death and felt like the grounds of the Deep Roads, but he was, without a doubt, still Tamlen. Her best friend. Tamlen and Callie, always together. “Oh,  _ da’len _ ,” she sighed, crying over his shoulder when his hands pressed tentatively on her back. “I’m so sorry. I am so,  _ so _ sorry! Tell me there’s something I can do!”

“Too far,” he murmured. “Cannot help me.” He held her closer, leaning into her hug and giving way to a deep sigh. “Always...loved you...I’m so sorry…”

A sob escaped her at his words. “Forgive me,  _ lethallin _ ,” she choked out, driving her hidden blade between his ribs. He gasped, but did not move. As his strength waned, Callie still held him, kneeling, sobbing harder into his shoulder. She cried out prayers in elvhen for her friend.

“Thank you... _ lethallan _ ,” he muttered, going slack, his body falling against hers.

Callie cradled his body in her arms, her lap, closing his eyes with her hand and thinking of the past.  _ Creators, _ she thought, _ he loved me! He...he… _ So many days they spent together, whether it was hunting, exploring, or simply looking for trouble. There had been that one night Tamlen and Merrill convinced her to shove over the biggest halla of the heard. Marethari had pressed  _ weeks _ of work upon them. There had also been that time in a ravine near the coast. The look on Tamlen’s face and the sound of Merrill’s amused shriek when she jumped from high above them had been quite priceless. Ashalle  _ had  _ always hoped that Tamlen and Callie had…

“Callie?” Leliana approached her slowly, warily curious. She crouched down and took her hands away from Tamlen’s face, standing her up carefully.

“Leliana!” she gasped, grasping her friend tightly and sobbing. She held her just as tight, trying vainly to calm the elf.  _ “I just got him back and now he’s been taken from me again! I’m so sorry I couldn’t do more. I should have done more! If we had found them in those ruins before it was too late…” _ She was babbling endlessly in elvhen, no way Leliana could understand her.

“Everything will be okay, my friend,” Leliana shushed her. 

“His name was Tamlen,” she gasped between cries. “Creators,  _ why him _ ?”

\---

Leliana draped a thick blanket across Callie’s shoulders and pulled it tight around her as Callie herself stared blankly ahead into the fire. The rest of the company had reluctantly gone back to sleep, though she had doubts that any of them found sound sleep after the ambush. It was Alistair and her. They were beacons for the shrieks, the reason the others were in danger just for traveling with them. Suddenly thinking of Alistair brought tears to her eyes and she covered her mouth with her hands as her features screwed up in grief. Leliana sat down next to her, holding her close as she struggled to contain her sobs, speaking softly, her accent heavily present in her words.

Alistair had not gone back to bed easily. When he saw Callie in her state of duress, he had tried to comfort her, but she had pulled away sharply. He couldn’t fix it this time. Tamlen’s confession had sent her mind racing of how her life could have been, had they not discovered the ruins that fateful day and had he not met such an unkind fate. Eventually, Leliana had given him a hard, but pleading look and he had left with only a little protest. The others had given their concerned and confused looks as well, making her isolated feelings intensify.

Holding her arms close to her chest and laying her head on Leliana’s thigh, the bard tailed her hand though Callie’s hair. “Better?” she asked.

She hummed blandly, neither a yes or no. “His name was Tamlen,” she repeated quietly. “He was from my clan and with me the day I met Duncan.” The story rolled off her tongue freely like a tension that had longed to be released for months. The caves, the eluvian, Duncan, even the tiniest details like the fear in the eyes of the humans Tamlen and her had encountered earlier in the day. Her voice broke horribly as she said, “I could have...I don’t know...I should have done something.”

“You mustn't blame yourself, Cal,” Leliana said softly, rubbing the elf’s arm comfortingly. “Please don’t blame yourself.”

Callie sat up. “How can I not? We  _ left _ him.” She stared glumly at the tent Alistair and her shared. “Doesn’t matter now, I suppose. I’m alive and Tamlen’s not.”

Leliana didn’t miss where her eyes had wandered. She was, after all, a bard. She stood up and held out a hand, which Callie took after a moment’s hesitation. “Come on,” she said. “You can stay in my tent tonight until you feel better. I believe Zevran and Shale have the next watch.

“Thank you, Leliana,” Callie sighed, hugging her tight. “Really. I mean it.”

“I know, my friend.”

\---

After nearly an hour of staring helplessly at the canvas of the tent and crying silently, Callie surrendered to the fact that she would get no restful sleep, if any at all. She would admit that she wanted to feel Alistair’s warm chest against her back, his strong arms locked around her as he comforted her as best he could. But she didn’t know if that could happen. Could she still be Alistair’s Callie and still talk about Tamlen’s Callie as well? The mere thought of her two worlds colliding and ripping each other apart tired her out, sending her off to the drifting roads of the Fade.

She never could have held onto that sleep for long. Soon, she heard her own whimpers and was sitting up in a frozen sweat.  _ I can’t do it, I can’t do it, _ she thought fervently. She pushed her hair back and rocked onto her knees, looking to her side.  _ Thank the Creators I didn’t wake Leliana up _ . The bard was still cutely tucked beneath her own covers, snoozing away. Callie slipped out of her blanket and pulled them over her friend carefully. “Thanks, Leli,” she whispered, stepping quietly out of the tent.

Zevran and Shale were still by the fire. The assassin was pacing back and forth whilst slapping the flat of a knife into his palm. When he spotted Callie, he froze, and so did she. For a second, she braced herself for a cruel joke. Then, he sheathed his knife and strode up to her, enveloping her in a tight embrace. She was surprised and took a second to recollect her senses and return the hug.

“We are here for you,  _ amor _ ,” he promised softly over her shoulder. His cheek was warm against her neck. “You are the strongest amongst us and nobody will think less of you if you wish to ask for help.”

Callie tucked herself a little closer to Zevran. “I know,” she replied. “Thank you, Zev. Really.  _ Really _ .”

He gave her cold hands a kiss and sauntered back over to Shale to finish up their watch. Callie let out a relieved breath, feeling a little better. Crossing her arms tightly around her, she stared at the ground and shuffled over to the tent Alistair and her shared. Before she could pause and scrape together a second thought, she ducked in, holding her breath.

So was Alistair, it seemed. Through the darkness, her elven eyes could see his chest refusing to rise and fall. It caused the smallest of smiles on her face, his charade. He was trying to make it seem like he was sleeping, but his tightly frozen form made it painfully clear he wasn’t. Getting on her hands and knees, still wearing the smile, Callie leaned down and pressed her lips gently against his. He gave up his sham when he responded to her touch.

“You’re a terrible fake sleeper,  _ ma vhenan _ ,” she noted quietly.

“Without you,” he added. He propped himself up on his elbow and moved so she could slip in next to him. She tucked her arms between them and pressed her forehead to his heated chest when he settled again.

She wasn’t sure how long they sat in silence, but the time she broke it, she wasn’t wholly unconvinced the next age hadn’t begun. “His name was Tamlen,” she started. “He was from my clan. He was there when I found the eluvian...and when he touched it…” She took a deep breath. “Duncan and I looked for him for hours. He was just...gone. I thought he was dead, killed by darkspawn or demons or the undead.” She paused, swallowing a hard lump in her throat. “I killed him. Tonight, after the ambush. Tamlen was here. He didn’t want to hurt me. Just to see me one...one last time before…” Her face scrunched up and she fought vainly against tears that were already dripping off her nose.

If possible, Alistair pulled her closer. “I’m so sorry,” he said hoarsely. “It’s...what happens when the corruption goes unchecked.”

Callie wiped at her eyes, calming down. “He fancied me,” she scoffed humorously. “We were just goofing off when we found the ruins. A day away from everyone else, all to ourselves, you know? I’m sorry.”

“Cal...sorry for what?”

“Not telling you earlier, tonight or otherwise. You deserved to know, but I wasn’t exactly ready to confess that ‘my childhood friend had feelings for me and now he’s dead and I’m in love with you.’ See? Awkward.” She gave a curt, glum laugh and frowned. “I  _ do _ love you.  _ Ar lath ma, vhenan _ . You know that, right?” She looked at him, tears in her eyes once again, unnecessarily terrified of his coming answer.

“I do,” he assured her, kissing her forehead. “Maker’s breath, I do. It’s okay. I’ll always be here for you, no matter what. Even if you...I dunno, side with the Archdemon, or something.” 

Callie burst out laughing, quickly covering her mouth to quiet herself. “Sorry,” she whispered, smiling.

Alistair beamed down at her. “Never apologize for something like that, love.” He kissed her nose. “How about getting some sleep?”

“Sounds divine,” she agreed. She turned on her opposite side so he could snake his arm over her waist and pull her close.

“I love you,” he sighed into her hair.

“I love you, too.”


End file.
